Friday, January 20, 2012

Bark Bits... Quick Hits and Fazed Cookies

Mitt's Millions
As reported yesterday, it appears one of the factors keeping Mitt Romney from releasing his tax records is his penchant for conveniently stashing millions of investment dollars in U.S. tax-free Cayman Islands tax shelters.

This is just too much--the ultra-rich corporate raider businessman stashing away millions to avoid paying taxes to the government he wants to run. What a patriot.

Don’t worry though. Missionary Mitt plans to make up for that shortfall in the national treasury that he and thousands of other “job creators” have created--by cutting your retirement and health care benefits.

Little Dumber Boy
While Romney Rolls on, the Rick Perry Cowboy Train has finally run off the rails. The Texas governor, who wants to eliminate multiple departments of the federal government, but can't seem to remember which ones, will now have much more free time to address the topic he loves the most--Texas succeeding from the union. If only it could...

Holy Crockamole
Perry's exit brings to three the number of GOP candidates that have dropped out of the race despite the endorsement of The Almighty. Perry, along with fellow comedy writers' dreams Herman Cain and Michelle Bachmann, all claimed that their White House bids were inspired by conversations with God--where he urged them to run. Good to hear The Big Guy still has a sense of humor.

-SC

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